Cause whatever you love can be taken away, so live like it’s your dying day
There’s a reggae song that goes: “Well the years have come and the years have gone Still the son of man keeps a trotting on Journey, journey on. Yet from innocence to experience.From dependence to independence Journey, journey on. Well now i have love and i have been loved. I have judged and I have been judged. Journey, journey on. So where there come a storm there’s a victory. Cause I live all and all lives in me. Journey, journey on” (Jimmy Cliff) This sums up the story of my life.
Another year. Wow time really flies. Just the other day it was me and my mom (trotting) everywhere to now being alone (having to figure out) things on my own. Trying to be a man in this cold world. (I never knew adulting would be this hard) But hey, that’s the beauty of life. Struggles building us.
Some of the lessons I’m learning in this new season is to always utilize each given opportunity. Because you never know when It’ll be gone. Eminem once sang: “you better loose yourself in the moment and never let it go, you’ve got one chance to show, better never let it go”
Another lesson I’ve learnt it’s okay to be you. You’ll never please everyone and not everybody will like you. And never do things in order to ” fit in” or “coolest dude or lady”. The downfall of social media and technology is that everyone always wants to show how they’ve got their shit together and they’re all glamorous. It has now engrained a thinking in most people to always “be out drinking” or ” on holiday”. I mean if you’re always drinking, when do you have time to take care of yourself?
Well lemme not be not be too political but those are some of the nuggets life has handed me. Now I’m at a better position than I was before. Done with cognitive development and ready for the next step. Older, bolder and wiser. Join me on this journey by sparing a few minutes for a read 🥂🍻
Yet it’s that time of the year again. For you that are single don’t worry, I have the best tips for you 😅. Dudes grab your favourite drink and make sure you’re Netflix subscription is paid. Ladies, you’re favorite wine and shawl covering as you watch a YouTube vlog. And that’s how valentine’s is celebrated 😅
But on a serious note, love shouldn’t just be an emotion that you have to express on a specific day. And it’s not something that you have to always look at on the dimensions of intimacy. Not all people in the world have a guy or a lady. What do you do when you’re single? Does it mean love doesn’t exist for you?
I don’t think so. Love should be a universal emotion. Just like sex. We only look at sex on the lens of two people cuddling and enjoying themselves in bed. But is it so? No. What about knowing your body? What pleases you? Why it is important to know the dangers that accompany unsafe sex? Do we think of that? Do we think of post sexual consequences? Raising children? Unwanted pregnancies? The pregnancy journey?
I guess not. Were too quick to have a one dimensional outlook to thing’s forgetting there’s much more to life. Like in the case of love. You might love your boyfriend or wife but don’t love your brother or sister. Or you might be hating your superintendent. The bartender at your local. Each time you visit the venue you look at them with devilish eyes.
And surprisingly what we exhibit is what we get. You might ask yourself yes you love your partner but there’s always anarchy at your house. What causes it? It’s the same same attitude you show others. In the African culture if you disrespect your parents and hate them, they curse you and you carry that curse all through your life. It’s karma. Just like food, what you feed your body is what you get. As I leave my dear reader, be that person who expresses love to all, everyday of your life 365 days a year ❤️
When the sun perks up, we know the day has started. Just as so, the year 2022 is on the starting point. “On your marks” the whistle is blown.
But are we really ready for it? How enthusiastic are you? Do you think it’ll be your year? Don’t just say it, claim it. And how do you do so? Many are the times we write resolutions but on reaching February, the course is diverted. By July life is back to normal. Helter skelter we run. Forgetting we had a mission to loose weight, stop drinking or start that business.
A recent study has shown that most people by January 17th are either on track with their resolutions or are off track. Which side of the pendulum do you want to be on? My dear reader, be enthusiastic but keep the faith. The load might be heavy but don’t be weary. If your goal is to end an addiction, start by identifying the triggers and why you engage in a certain vice. Might it be you smoke when stressed?
Then find alternative methods to vent. You can decide when stressed to go for a run, or take a walk, read a book. And that way your goal will be reached. Have a destination set for December and start the journey. Fuel the car (dreams, hopes, aspirations), look at the map (what do J need to do to get there?) Then embark on the journey (perseverance) and lastly arrive at your destination (goal).
When the year ends, most of us are usually making merry, enjoying with friends and family. Though for me, I prefer to use the time to reflect and plan ahead for the incoming year. A new chapter, 365 vibrant days. And as I do so this year, I’ve decided to be different. Because times have also changed thus promoting my move. 21 lessons for 2021. Things I’ve learnt that I think will be beneficial to you my reader.
1. EACH OPPORTUNITY IS A LEARNING OPPORTUNITY: Whatever opportunities life offers you, grab them and learn from them. Because when you learn, you grow.
2. YOU CAN’T PLEASE EVERYONE: Not everyone will like you. And that’s okay. Plus you can’t fit in everyone’s shoes. That’s why you’re feet are your’s and the type of shoe you like is what you like. You find it at a specific shop. Nike and Adidas are both sport’s shoes but they appeal to different customers.
3. BE REAL: Be true to who you are and live it to the fullest. Embrace the acne on your face, your dark skin. Because through that, people will love you for who you are.
4. IT DOESN’T HAVE TO ALWAYS WORK OUT: Accept that things won’t always go your way. And not all the time you’ll hear a yes. A no or a fail will teach you valuable lessons.
5. FAIL FORWARD: Because that’s the only way you grow. You’ll learn what not to do again.
6. ON TO THE NEXT ONE: Too many people to love you, too many to hug you. Too many to kiss you. Don’t stress over the one who said no. Or that friend that “cut you off”. You’ll make more friends, meet a new lover and you’ll be surprised.
7. HOW MANY BOOKS ? Do you read? Do you want to expand your knowledge capacity? Do you want to learn from others? Your idol? Your role model?
8. MOOD FOR MUSIC: Don’t just listen to music for the sake of listening. Or listening to the “latest song”. Look for music that touches your soul, the songs that speak to your heart, the songs that get you through the trying times. On my Spotify you’ll find that reggae and soul music are my most listened to genres of 2021.
9. PODCASTS? VLOGS? Subscribe to one, two or three. Not only will you enjoy, but you’ll definitely learn a lot. Thank you Mr Obama and Oprah.
10. ENJOY SMALL WINS: Celebrate those teensy – weensy moments. Don’t wait for that “big break” it might not come.
11. NO WAYS TO BECOME RICHER: Success lies in your hands. Your life is different from Steve Jobs or Richard Branson. Not dismissing the advice they give but heck, your life is your life. We all face different circumstances thus “10 ways” won’t work for everyone. Just like my 21 lessons are my personal reflections. They might be for you, they might not.
12. “YOLO” THE WORST MANTRA: If you only live once, why do you have different life experiences. Once you were a child, pre – teen, teen, youth, adult and ultimately a grandma or grandpa. That’s the lifecycle. But don’t waste it at one point. Or think there’s more time. You start drinking at 21 by the time your 60, you’ll be a full blown alcoholic suffering from various diseases.
13. INNER PEACE: “Protect your life. It’s your one and only” From Beres harmond and Popcaan’s song. Inner peace is valuable because when you’re at ease, you’ll definitely be at your best. Shun away from negativity, bad vibes and low vibrational people.
14. WORKOUT WORKOUT WORKOUT: Don’t wait for lifestyle disease’s to hit you up. Do it now & you’ll enjoy it. Prevention is better than cure.
15. MY FRIENDS ARE MY INFLUENCE: If 4 of your friends are into gang and gang related stuff, definitely you’ll be the fifth. No miracle about that. Honestly some of the best people that have changed me this year have been my friends.
16. SOCIAL MEDIA CLOUT: Don’t chase it. A leopard doesn’t stay the same place with a cat. You’ll please five to ten people for likes wherase your mental and personal health is at risk.
17. RAISE YOUR STANDARDS: When you are you, you are true to who you really are. Don’t degrade so as to fit with other’s. Be authentically you. If you don’t drink, that’s fine. You don’t have to to please people.
18. MEDITATION: Doesn’t have to be the Buddhist one. Take sometime off from the usual you and close your eyes. Be in a trance and release yourself to the inner world. Amazing it’ll be.
19. EXPIRY DATE: Food has it, so does life. Just that at times it’s a bit hidden or we ignore it. We continue till life gets us sick. Like TD. Jakes, “Let it go”. I suggest you get his book (Let it go ; forgive so that you can be forgiven)
20. NEW GOALS BUT SAME YOU ? Naah. That doesn’t work. The year will still be the same unless you introspect. Nobody’s gonna do the work for you.
21. GOD, GOD, GOD: Your best friend, your counsel, your guider. It’s not about religion but the relationship with him. Read the Quran, the Bhagavad Gita, the Bible and get to know him. He will amaze you. “Say a prayer and chant Psalms, prayer a day keep the evil calm You don’t have to go to church or be a Christian to call on Jah name Shout out tha name Jehovah in the valleys Shout out tha name Jehovah on the hills Shout out tha name Jehovah on the plains or even if it rains Call on the name, call on Jah name the same, call on the name, yeah” (Sanchez)
Gear forward, tuck your seatbelt in and get ready for the 2022 journey. Adios my reader ♥️♥️
Be not afraid of their faces: for I am with thee to deliver thee, saith the Lord. (Jeremiah 1:8 KJV) A verse relatable to the message I am sharing today. May are the times we are faced with anxiety and the first thing that comes to our minds is ; “we will not make it”. But is it true? I highly doubt.
Have you ever seen how a child feels hugging their mother after school? The joy that comes with that? They forget the monsters that they were facing in school. That bad teacher, that bully, that girl / boy who said no. They feel that there is someone who cares. But when we grow up, we tend to deviate to the notion that we can do it all on our own.
And when the going gets tough, we’re left to bear the burden. Which is a notion that I’d like to demestify. We should allow ourselves to be vulnerable, weak, weary and have a support system that gets us through. It won’t hurt saying I’m weak. It won’t hurt asking for help.
Especially for us gents. We tend to view asking for help as a weak thing and those who do so we brand them the name “simp”. “A man shouldn’t cry, a man shouldn’t show weakness, a man should be strong” Yet deep down the man is torn. Hurting. With heavy burdens to bear.
As I finish, I’d like to quote H_art the band on their new song wait for you : “when you feel your world caving in it’s ok to be afraid when you’re overwhelmed by mistakes it’s ok not to be ok coz when you’re feeling down i’ll be there and i’ll hold you down, i’ll hold you and when you feel like running away i’ll wait for you, i’ll wait for you i’ll wait for you, i’ll wait for you i’ll wait for you, i’ll wait for you i’ll wait for you, i’ll wait for you” which I think sums up my piece 🌺
The past month leading to this was quite a heavy one on me. From ailing friends and family to overwhelming school projects. I questioned why all this was happening. Why to family? why to my friends? why all this work? but then again I remembered that I have been to far much worse circumstances and overcame them. The experience lead me to write this months article worry not. At times, we are confronted with strenuous circumstances which deprive us of our moxie and we end up low blown, depressed and with nowhere to turn to.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who has gone through such. Life is not a straight line where everyday the sun shines and we giggle on amusement. There times where we feel gloomy, just like clouds preparing for a pour. You receive those disappointing news, a family member is demised, you have contracted Covid, you have been laid off. Usually when they come, 90% of the time people are not yet prepared. That’s why after burials people still wish that those gone to be around. Even getting rid of their personal items becomes tedious.
What then do you do? I’m not a counselor nor a spiritual leader but I feel my experiences and what I did can be of great value to all who come across this article. Be male or female, suffering knows no gender. Though there might exist disparities, I firmly believe not so much. Death of a family member will affect both a father and a mother the same way just the expression of the pain might be different. When you are faced with a difficult or overwhelming situation, I believe the first thing is to take a deep brerath.
Be in the moment. Then allow yourself to digest the news. Follow by telling yourself that you will overcome it. A positive attitude has been linked to speeding up recovery in patients. Then look for ways to maneuver through the tussle. As you look for ways to maneuver, remember that you are not the only one going through the problem. And as you do so, look for a book or a video, or a podcast that will always keep your spirits up.
And most importantly, don’t forget the wise words of the bible that God will never put you through something that he cant get you out of.
A few weeks ago Kenya hosted the WRC championships and it became the talk of the town. “Vasha” was the in thing. People were flocking there. Surprisingly most of those who attended didn’t have a clue about the rally or what it was all about. Most if not all attendees were there because of the hype and to show others ”they were there”
And that’s the basis of my article today. Fear of missing out. Have you ever found yourself doing something not because you wanted to but because of the pressure of friends or social media? well I’m sure I’m not the only one. At this digital age, were at a point where people don’t do things because they enjoy but because they want to please others. We go to a restaurant not to enjoy the meal but to post the picture on Instagram.
What a place we are in. Genuine, unpretentious and happy moments have all died down and we are reduced to boasting, posting and roasting. We do things because we want others to see we were there or we do things to keep a certain class of friends. Why? instead of technology bringing us together, we are more distant and are in competition with one another. We want to look good on social media and maintain a certain class on the ground.
What I’ve come to see in life is that the more you struggle the more you end up failing. Why can’t you go to a restaurant and enjoy the scrumptious meal and drinks without posting? or why do you have to struggle to maintain certain lifestyle or keep up with certain friends? If you don’t feel comfortable being around a certain type of people, the easiest thing to do is walk away. No one is going to kill you for that. Protect your sanity, enjoy moments and please no one but yourself.
If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. In my film classes, one of our lecturers has persistently told us on the importance of planning before going out to shoot. He says that you need ample time before you can pick up the camera and start recording. Which is actually true. Because there is so much that takes place behind the scenes before the whole process starts. You have to have an idea of what you will shoot, the location, the actors and the script.
And this got me thinking. Many of us are aimlessly wondering through life without a clear direction of where they want to go. We wake up without plans, just living for the moment (YOLO). Yes it might be great to live for the moment, but for how long will you do so?
I recently saw a meme that said : “Your hustle today will determine whether you will be a grandfather who plays golf or draft.” It was funny but at the same time reflective. I’ve seen this from family friends whom we grew up with. How our parents planned themselves for their sunset years. And those who didn’t are now suffering. You might think that since you are energetic now, you don’t need to plan for the future.
Nobody knows about tomorrow but tomorrow is created by today. If you fail to have a steady career or built on your talent, how then do you think in the future you will reap benefits? Mbusi from Radio Jambo was the other day conversing with Jalango, and he said he first was an actor and stage performer from 2002 and from then he knew this is the thing he wants to do with his life, and he planned for it and today he is a household name in our radios.
It all started from 2002 and the vision he had has taken him to where he is today. He even has a head of state recommendation. So I urge you my dear readers, be planners and people who prepare for the future. Like in Game of Thrones when winter is coming, be ready for it.
Growing up, together with my family we called Santack estate home. That is where I learnt how to make friends, ride my first bike, cook food with friends and basically all that is there to do with childhood. It was fun experience I wont lie to you. And up to now though we shifted years back, I find myself a regular guest there talking to some of my old friends. Not because I lack new friends but there is a part of me that still feels attached to the estate.
Just like Duane Stephenson and Tarrus Riley sung in their mega hit ghetto religion : “I’m a part of the ghetto, the ghetto is a part of me.” That’s how I am. I guess I’m not the only one. Psychologically it has been proven that we form attitudes and habits from our homes and the environments we grew up in. The environment shapes who we are and most likely what we become. That’s why when you ask two children (baby x and baby y) what they want to become when they grow up, they will provide different answers. With a high prevalence on their environment.
Yes. Our environment forms our worldview. It gives us a picture of how life should be. Like in the tv series the wire. The children in the environment of drug dealing and violence ended up being peddlers themselves. They mirrored what they saw in front of them and when the school tried to impact a different life in them, they were met with resistance. The re – evaluation program didn’t work.
Not because people can’t change, but we are more accustomed to what we saw and heard. As the saying goes : “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” That’s how we humans are. It might be a good thing to be a part and model what you saw in front of you, but it can also be another challenging part if what was in front was negative. If for instance you grew around thieves? does it mean you must be a thief?
No. Sometimes we should take lessons from the experiences. If for example you’re father was a drunkard. You don’t have to end up on the same road. You can say that for how I saw alcohol being abused at home, I will not drink. Or if your environment was in the shanty dwellings. You don’t have to end up there. You can work hard in school and create a better life for yourself. As I conclude, be a part of where you come from but also pick lessons from the same same places and use them as the fuel for a better tomorrow.
Back in high school, my dad came with the Let it go poem by Td Jakes and played it for us. He would do so on a regular till it became a mantra to us. I liked it and according to me its one of the most honest, truly spoken and outright poems of all time. Not because I’m a huge Td Jakes fanatic, but because of the message it holds. And by luck, I got to read the book from which the poem emanates from. Let it go ; (forgive so that you can be forgiven). I enjoyed it and from it its where my article is derived from.
Letting things go. As humans and in a society that discards vulnerability, many of us prefer holding things to themselves and rarely do people fell at ease opening up. I was once like that till I had an interstice in my life. That’s when I realized the importance of opening up. But you don’t have to be like me to be pushed to the corner in order to open up your heart. Do it because it’s something that will greatly benefit you and your life.
People don’t just wake up and by tomorrow they have committed suicide. It’s a continual process of hiding emotions, fear of opening up, judgement and a lack of compassion. If our society allowed people to open up and changed the outlook on failure, suicidal and depressing cases would be on an all time low. In the book let it go, Td jakes narrates on when he counselled a couple and he advised them that if they don’t listen to each other, open up to the roots of their problems, they will never resolve their differences no matter how many counselling sessions they attend.
Yes. It starts with the acceptance of letting go of things. Accepting the fact that if you keep holding on onto them, they will do you more harm than bring you pleasure. Not only on matters that seem heavy to the heart, but also to those that can be destructing you from set out life goals. It can be friends, an addiction, place you stay or a habit that you have. As 50 cent says in hustle harder, hustle smarter ; ‘Nipsey hussle was great but the problem was he got successful and never left the hood. He remained there and it became easier for people to reach and attack him.’ Nipsey was gunned down on his shop that he had opened at his hood.
So I urge you my dear reader, let it go. Don’t hold on to past hurts and pains, who did you right and who did you wrong, let it al go. With that you will live a long happy and stress free life.
Through The Mask 