Sorry Is all that you can’t say Years gone by and still Words don’t come easily Like sorry, like sorry Forgive me Is all that you can’t say
Have you ever realized when your angry at someone it’s easier to bash them out rather than to resolve the problem? You notice the mistake but you don’t notice the solution to fixing it. Sometimes that’s how life is. Words like: “you failed me” “you’re not perfect” are easier to say than “sorry” “let’s fix it”
Why you may ask? Because we live in a world where perfection is praised, hours are spent on ensuring things run meticulously that when one thing goes wrong, we feel we are taken back. Especially for us in media. One mistake in a link delays the whole program.
But then again, if we strive for perfection we miss the bits of life. Because no individual is perfect. The only perfect being we know of is the one watching the celestial world. He/she alone is the one blameless. And trying to equate your lover on the same level with God, you will be utterly disappointed.
A human being will fail you, will disappoint you. They will definitely not be able to meet your standards. And trying to make someone meet standards, is like trying to break a wall with your bare knuckles. Eventually you’ll get hurt. Standards are also the causes of imperfection in any relationship.
Why not try to let the other person be themselves? Give them a space where they can fail and allow them to do so. If they spill milk on the floor instead of complaining about it, help them clean it and let them learn that pouring it down isn’t good. Also, be human enough to whisper words such as “It’s okay” “I’m sorry” “let’s fix this” because through this words, we affirm to the other person that we hold them dearly and we are ready to work with them. Forgive them and show we value their presence.
He said to me, education is the key, yeah As a little boy, I thought I know What I was doing, yeah, man But today, here I am in jail
Have you ever asked yourself why you do things the way you do? or subconsciously you just do them? Let’s take the example of religion. Do you go to church or the mosque because you want to go or do you go because you grew up going to the madrasa? Do you have a personal relationship with God? do you read the bible? well, that’s food for thought.
Most of us do things without ever having an “I” imprint in them, following blindly. We go to work (because we have to pay bills), have to get kids, and married by a certain age (because that’s how my parents and uncles told me). Without ever truly being ourselves. There is always a driving force that is behind us. Not disputing guidance but then, if you rely on others to be you, then at what point do you express yourself? Can’t you say that you are not prepared to get married and you want to keep searching till you find your partner? when prepared? people will be angry but in the end, you will have lived your truth.
I like what Big Ted said recently in his CTA (Cleaning The Airvawes) episode. He said despite his father being a bishop, his personal relationship with God has nothing to do with him. It’s all about him. His experiences and what God has done for him in his life, have made him strong in faith. Well, are there any more Big Ted’s in our society? I believe so and for things to change, we first need to analyze the past, what worked and didn’t so that we know what needs to be left and what needs to be kept. When a society is consciously aware, individuals are personally improved.
There are four vital things that I believe need to be addressed. First, it’s sex, second alcoholism, third education, and fourth success. Let us begin with sex. For so long sex (esp in the African setting and black American setting) has been viewed as a taboo and a topic of rare conversation. Most of us growing up viewed sex either as a “gift during marriage” or that “sex before marriage being a sin.” But has anyone ever told you why it is a sin? No. That’s why the highest number of sex, sexual workers, and sex-related complications in America is prevalent among the black community. And one of the biggest flaws of Mr. Mandela’s government was the HIV epidemic. Not because he couldn’t tackle it, but because his government refused to speak about it.
The second is alcoholism. In most cases, most of us growing up have either looked at alcohol as a “bad thing” or “something that is consumed by those who are smart in our society.” Either because our parents drank it or because we saw it as a cool thing from our favorite movies. But no one tells you of its dangers. No one tells you of responsible drinking. And I remember last year a government official telling me that the highest number of drinkers in Kenya are aged between 18 -40. She was worried because Kenya’s population is made up of the youth and if the youth are wasting themselves, then who will build the future?
The third is education. Growing up I remember the four main careers that seemed “successful” were law, medicine, engineering, and architecture. You had to aspire to be one of those. And extracurricular activities were seen as of “no importance” value and if you dared say you wanted to be a musician, you were seen as a bad person. And fourth success. Success in our society from time immemorial has always been viewed on the lens of money, prestige and status. The more money you have, the more successful you are thought to be. But again, we forget that money comes and goes away. What if today you get bankrupt or you get fired? Does it mean you become unsuccessful?
Like Obama writes in his book “Dreams from my father”. Where he says that at one point his father got so broke that he sent his sister (Auma) to buy him cigarettes with no money but a mere word “tell him you’re Obama’s daughter. The one who helped shape Kenya’s government.” She did so and the shopkeeper replied saying with no money, no cigarettes. Auma then had to work and look for money and went back home with the packet. Her father Obama SNR thought it was his name that worked magic but it wasn’t. Auma didn’t want to disappoint her father.
It’s saddening. But I am a firm believer in change. That things can be better. We just need to put the best foot foward and start the journey. Let’s start by talking. Having honest and truthful conversations. For example on sex. Let’s teach children and young adults about it. Let them know why it is dangerous to engage in immoral sexual behaviors. Tell them about things such as sexual transmitted diseases. Teach them when they get married sex shouldn’t be a relationship control tool but a bonding tool. Let them know that sex isn’t just about the physical touch but there’s much more than that. Like children. How many does a couple want and how many can you manage to raise?
Or on alcoholism. Teach people especially teens and the youth on it. Teach them on vices such as drunk driving, substance addiction, irresponsible spending and lifestyle diseases. I was recently watching a program on TV (Citizen in the morning 16/3/2022) and they were discussing about hypertension and heart diseases. And the most prevalent cause of the above conditions they mentioned was the lifestyle an individual is living. What you eat and put in your body. If you consume large amounts of alcohol, chances are you are susceptible to such kind of diseases. And it is eating away a whole lot of people.
Let’s start making the changes so that we can have a better tomorrow. Where people will be fully satisfied with the work they do despite the position they hold and where people will be much open to discuss issues such as education and sex so that we can save our generation.
Cause whatever you love can be taken away, so live like it’s your dying day
There’s a reggae song that goes: “Well the years have come and the years have gone Still the son of man keeps a trotting on Journey, journey on. Yet from innocence to experience.From dependence to independence Journey, journey on. Well now i have love and i have been loved. I have judged and I have been judged. Journey, journey on. So where there come a storm there’s a victory. Cause I live all and all lives in me. Journey, journey on” (Jimmy Cliff) This sums up the story of my life.
Another year. Wow time really flies. Just the other day it was me and my mom (trotting) everywhere to now being alone (having to figure out) things on my own. Trying to be a man in this cold world. (I never knew adulting would be this hard) But hey, that’s the beauty of life. Struggles building us.
Some of the lessons I’m learning in this new season is to always utilize each given opportunity. Because you never know when It’ll be gone. Eminem once sang: “you better loose yourself in the moment and never let it go, you’ve got one chance to show, better never let it go”
Another lesson I’ve learnt it’s okay to be you. You’ll never please everyone and not everybody will like you. And never do things in order to ” fit in” or “coolest dude or lady”. The downfall of social media and technology is that everyone always wants to show how they’ve got their shit together and they’re all glamorous. It has now engrained a thinking in most people to always “be out drinking” or ” on holiday”. I mean if you’re always drinking, when do you have time to take care of yourself?
Well lemme not be not be too political but those are some of the nuggets life has handed me. Now I’m at a better position than I was before. Done with cognitive development and ready for the next step. Older, bolder and wiser. Join me on this journey by sparing a few minutes for a read 🥂🍻
When the year ends, most of us are usually making merry, enjoying with friends and family. Though for me, I prefer to use the time to reflect and plan ahead for the incoming year. A new chapter, 365 vibrant days. And as I do so this year, I’ve decided to be different. Because times have also changed thus promoting my move. 21 lessons for 2021. Things I’ve learnt that I think will be beneficial to you my reader.
1. EACH OPPORTUNITY IS A LEARNING OPPORTUNITY: Whatever opportunities life offers you, grab them and learn from them. Because when you learn, you grow.
2. YOU CAN’T PLEASE EVERYONE: Not everyone will like you. And that’s okay. Plus you can’t fit in everyone’s shoes. That’s why you’re feet are your’s and the type of shoe you like is what you like. You find it at a specific shop. Nike and Adidas are both sport’s shoes but they appeal to different customers.
3. BE REAL: Be true to who you are and live it to the fullest. Embrace the acne on your face, your dark skin. Because through that, people will love you for who you are.
4. IT DOESN’T HAVE TO ALWAYS WORK OUT: Accept that things won’t always go your way. And not all the time you’ll hear a yes. A no or a fail will teach you valuable lessons.
5. FAIL FORWARD: Because that’s the only way you grow. You’ll learn what not to do again.
6. ON TO THE NEXT ONE: Too many people to love you, too many to hug you. Too many to kiss you. Don’t stress over the one who said no. Or that friend that “cut you off”. You’ll make more friends, meet a new lover and you’ll be surprised.
7. HOW MANY BOOKS ? Do you read? Do you want to expand your knowledge capacity? Do you want to learn from others? Your idol? Your role model?
8. MOOD FOR MUSIC: Don’t just listen to music for the sake of listening. Or listening to the “latest song”. Look for music that touches your soul, the songs that speak to your heart, the songs that get you through the trying times. On my Spotify you’ll find that reggae and soul music are my most listened to genres of 2021.
9. PODCASTS? VLOGS? Subscribe to one, two or three. Not only will you enjoy, but you’ll definitely learn a lot. Thank you Mr Obama and Oprah.
10. ENJOY SMALL WINS: Celebrate those teensy – weensy moments. Don’t wait for that “big break” it might not come.
11. NO WAYS TO BECOME RICHER: Success lies in your hands. Your life is different from Steve Jobs or Richard Branson. Not dismissing the advice they give but heck, your life is your life. We all face different circumstances thus “10 ways” won’t work for everyone. Just like my 21 lessons are my personal reflections. They might be for you, they might not.
12. “YOLO” THE WORST MANTRA: If you only live once, why do you have different life experiences. Once you were a child, pre – teen, teen, youth, adult and ultimately a grandma or grandpa. That’s the lifecycle. But don’t waste it at one point. Or think there’s more time. You start drinking at 21 by the time your 60, you’ll be a full blown alcoholic suffering from various diseases.
13. INNER PEACE: “Protect your life. It’s your one and only” From Beres harmond and Popcaan’s song. Inner peace is valuable because when you’re at ease, you’ll definitely be at your best. Shun away from negativity, bad vibes and low vibrational people.
14. WORKOUT WORKOUT WORKOUT: Don’t wait for lifestyle disease’s to hit you up. Do it now & you’ll enjoy it. Prevention is better than cure.
15. MY FRIENDS ARE MY INFLUENCE: If 4 of your friends are into gang and gang related stuff, definitely you’ll be the fifth. No miracle about that. Honestly some of the best people that have changed me this year have been my friends.
16. SOCIAL MEDIA CLOUT: Don’t chase it. A leopard doesn’t stay the same place with a cat. You’ll please five to ten people for likes wherase your mental and personal health is at risk.
17. RAISE YOUR STANDARDS: When you are you, you are true to who you really are. Don’t degrade so as to fit with other’s. Be authentically you. If you don’t drink, that’s fine. You don’t have to to please people.
18. MEDITATION: Doesn’t have to be the Buddhist one. Take sometime off from the usual you and close your eyes. Be in a trance and release yourself to the inner world. Amazing it’ll be.
19. EXPIRY DATE: Food has it, so does life. Just that at times it’s a bit hidden or we ignore it. We continue till life gets us sick. Like TD. Jakes, “Let it go”. I suggest you get his book (Let it go ; forgive so that you can be forgiven)
20. NEW GOALS BUT SAME YOU ? Naah. That doesn’t work. The year will still be the same unless you introspect. Nobody’s gonna do the work for you.
21. GOD, GOD, GOD: Your best friend, your counsel, your guider. It’s not about religion but the relationship with him. Read the Quran, the Bhagavad Gita, the Bible and get to know him. He will amaze you. “Say a prayer and chant Psalms, prayer a day keep the evil calm You don’t have to go to church or be a Christian to call on Jah name Shout out tha name Jehovah in the valleys Shout out tha name Jehovah on the hills Shout out tha name Jehovah on the plains or even if it rains Call on the name, call on Jah name the same, call on the name, yeah” (Sanchez)
Gear forward, tuck your seatbelt in and get ready for the 2022 journey. Adios my reader ♥️♥️
A few weeks ago Kenya hosted the WRC championships and it became the talk of the town. “Vasha” was the in thing. People were flocking there. Surprisingly most of those who attended didn’t have a clue about the rally or what it was all about. Most if not all attendees were there because of the hype and to show others ”they were there”
And that’s the basis of my article today. Fear of missing out. Have you ever found yourself doing something not because you wanted to but because of the pressure of friends or social media? well I’m sure I’m not the only one. At this digital age, were at a point where people don’t do things because they enjoy but because they want to please others. We go to a restaurant not to enjoy the meal but to post the picture on Instagram.
What a place we are in. Genuine, unpretentious and happy moments have all died down and we are reduced to boasting, posting and roasting. We do things because we want others to see we were there or we do things to keep a certain class of friends. Why? instead of technology bringing us together, we are more distant and are in competition with one another. We want to look good on social media and maintain a certain class on the ground.
What I’ve come to see in life is that the more you struggle the more you end up failing. Why can’t you go to a restaurant and enjoy the scrumptious meal and drinks without posting? or why do you have to struggle to maintain certain lifestyle or keep up with certain friends? If you don’t feel comfortable being around a certain type of people, the easiest thing to do is walk away. No one is going to kill you for that. Protect your sanity, enjoy moments and please no one but yourself.
If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. In my film classes, one of our lecturers has persistently told us on the importance of planning before going out to shoot. He says that you need ample time before you can pick up the camera and start recording. Which is actually true. Because there is so much that takes place behind the scenes before the whole process starts. You have to have an idea of what you will shoot, the location, the actors and the script.
And this got me thinking. Many of us are aimlessly wondering through life without a clear direction of where they want to go. We wake up without plans, just living for the moment (YOLO). Yes it might be great to live for the moment, but for how long will you do so?
I recently saw a meme that said : “Your hustle today will determine whether you will be a grandfather who plays golf or draft.” It was funny but at the same time reflective. I’ve seen this from family friends whom we grew up with. How our parents planned themselves for their sunset years. And those who didn’t are now suffering. You might think that since you are energetic now, you don’t need to plan for the future.
Nobody knows about tomorrow but tomorrow is created by today. If you fail to have a steady career or built on your talent, how then do you think in the future you will reap benefits? Mbusi from Radio Jambo was the other day conversing with Jalango, and he said he first was an actor and stage performer from 2002 and from then he knew this is the thing he wants to do with his life, and he planned for it and today he is a household name in our radios.
It all started from 2002 and the vision he had has taken him to where he is today. He even has a head of state recommendation. So I urge you my dear readers, be planners and people who prepare for the future. Like in Game of Thrones when winter is coming, be ready for it.
“A good name is better than precious ointment and the day of death better than the day of one’s birth” (Ecclesiastes 7:1)
When the news that DMX was hospitalized for an Od, I was surprised. Just a few weeks before he was on drink champs sharing his life story. Then a week later we lost him. My world for a moment was standstill.
Growing up, he was among the few rappers I emulated telling my self I must one day be like him. Same to Jay Z, Eminem, Kanye west and Lil wayne. I liked him because each time you took a listen to his songs,there was something he wanted you to learn. Also the way he penned his thoughts down. You could feel his vulnerability being let out to the world.
And for most of us that is why we felt a sense of affiliation towards him. But today my piece isn’t a tribute to him rather it’s a reflection from the life he lived.
After his death despite having a recurrent addictive behavior, people remembered him more for the good rather than the bad he did. Something that got me pondering. What will we leave behind when we die? Is it the money, the cars, the bungalows or the impact we had on people’s lives?
We’re in a society that is materially motivated to the point we forget the teensy-weensy things that make life memorable. One would rather have a high walled house with no disturbances than having to see a neighbor each and every day. Were also taught to work hard and acquire a lot but never taught how to share. Were told if you’re not materially successful,then you don’t have a place in society.
Yes being affluent is good but there things money can’t buy. Money can’t buy happiness, joy, comfort, encouragement or even a good name. It can place you in a certain place in the society but if you lack the basics, it’s worthless. People remember one more for what he/she did to them in their lives than how many cars they owned.
You might be on top of the world right now but when you die, all that can topple in seconds.
“seen the rovers roll up with ribbons, I seen them re-poid re-sold then re-driven” Jay Z
“When power, power gets into your head, I can tell you, you will never remember that one day there is a bigger power almighty that will deal with you” (James Orengo) And that’s how most of us conduct ourselves when we get into authority. We forget the enabling force that put us into the position. And when we fall, we are full of regrets.
There’s been an ongoing discussion about the conduct of presenters from Homeboyz radio (breakfast show) and the remarks that they made a week ago. I happened to have a listen to the clip and was utterly disgusted by what they said. With such a huge platform, there are better and sane things to talk about rather than insulting and insinuating false beliefs into the minds of listener’s.
But that hasn’t been the first time presenter X (pseudo name we will give him) has behaved in such a way. Many at times he has had to either been reprimanded or pulled off air and instead of learning from the mistakes, continues to carry on with his behaviors. And that’s what James Orengo says; “when power, power gets into your head, you can never remember there is a bigger power…”
On the other hand, it should serve as a lesson to all of us. When God grants you the opportunity of influence, use the opportunity well. Educate, uplift, motivate and try to bring out a better society than you found.
Currently I’m reading A Promised Land by Barrack Obama and in an excerpt where he discusses bill passing, he says; ‘I think back to my community service days. I think of the steel – plant workers, there families and I remember the reason why I ran for office. I must make sure I deliver on the promise’. I wish those in office would emulate such kind of a person.
While we may be hard headed and think that power will last forever, God will remind you that he is the giver and taker of the same power. Presenter X has been moving with the notion of “bad boy” & that he can’t be brought down but shock on him.
As Lucky dube sings; “be good to the people on your way up the ladder you will meet them on your way down”. Away from him. Look at our politicians and so called celebrities. Those who walked proudly like pekoks are now nowhere to be seen or are fighting cases in court.
So I urge you my dear reader. Be humble, allow God to exalt you and when he does, serve him with all your strength.
In September 2016 on a fine Saturday evening I was briskly walking home and I happen to come across a multitude of people gathered and singing in joyous celebration. It was on the pathway between holy family basilica and city hallway. I was intrigued and decided to go and see what is going on. I was ushered in with warm hands and given a pamphlet that read; “happy new year”. I thought to myself; “this seems quite interesting”.
And that is how I found myself in a new years celebration in September. I enjoyed the fete not only the singing and dancing but also what I learnt. After we sang and danced ourselves out, the preacher took to the podium and shared words that have stuck with me ever since. “We are celebrating the new year not as others do but as we do. Let this be a new beginning but also the continuation of the previous. As you plan and write resolutions remember they will only come to pass if you are willing to work. Not forgetting the destiny that God has placed in you”
He continued sharing and urging people to think of where they want their lives to be and what they need to do in order reach there. Rather than just coming up with yearly based resolutions. And that is what has prompted my article. Resolutions and the new year. You might be surprised by the tittle but please don’t be. I heard of it from media personality G money(Cornad Garry)on his podcast; (the mics are open). He was asked by fellow podcaster Andrew what are his resolutions for 2021 and he said he doesn’t write resolutions, rather he reflects on his life to see if there is an improvement towards where he wants to be.
A point worth jotting down. Many of us usually begin a year with a list of things onto which we project and say we will do but rarely accomplish. Why you may ask? it’s simple. If you don’t have an elevated mindset and drive, rarely do you see things through. You may want to go to the gym and look well but what is your overall notion towards fitness? do you enjoy working out? are you willing to forfeit eating unhealthy to a more greener and cleaner diet?. Or take another example savings. What is your relationship with money. How do you look at money? is it something you fear addressing?. If most of the above questions keep your mind buzzing, it’s high time you elevate.
Elevate in the way you see things, the way you do them, the way you handle them and that is how you’ll accomplish all you want. Another point worth jotting is having a vision board. A vision board will help you know where you want your life to be and it will guide you on the steps to take. For example I want to be a best selling author and a show host(just like Oprah Winfrey).
On my vision board I have written that down and broken the steps to get there. I have started with my blog and I’m also doing youtube videos. When each year ends and I begin the next, I usually try to see if I’m closer to my dreams and what do I need to improve to get there. Not just a list of 10 things to do for 2021.
But don’t get me wrong. I’m not dismissing resolutions, rather I’m guiding you on how to make them work. So when each year begins, try to see if you are elevating or downgrading.
“There is a right and there’s a wrong, face the two and be a man, play your part in the father’s plan of creation” *Luciano (Jah Is Much Stronger)
Such kind of songs made me fall in love with reggae music. And up to now I still listen to the music. I like it because it passes a message and consummates the masses. But that’s for another day. For today I want to talk about doing right. As the song has said, there is a wrong and a right but do we really know the difference ? I bet yes it’s just that we’ve decided as a society to norm some shaft and allow them to happen.
Begining from the traditional settings, people were taught what is acceptable and what is not. And when one did a wrong, there were consequences that followed. Then where did we go wrong? According to me, all went sideways when those who did wrong got more glory than those who did right. This then made people see that; “okay, if I do this even though it’s wrong, I still will benefit and be like person X or person Y”
Drug dealers got more fame than pastors. Gang leaders became more attractive to the youth than doctors. Rouge politicians became more successful than teachers. With this, it brought about a shift in thinking. Children started dropping out of school to start selling drugs, more and more people started revering political tricks as opposed to properly campaigning. And before we knew it, our societal morals were on a downhill spiral.
And the media and entertainment business picked up this notion. More movies started being filmed with either drug dealer characters or gangs and they stated making money off this. From The Godfather up to Gangs of London, the society has been infiltrated with this thinking that it’s okay to do wrong, you will make it. That’s why it took a director like Tyler perry a longer time to reach the top because he didn’t reflect this norm.
But should we seat down and watch as the society crumbles on its morals ? no. It’s tough doing the right thing in a place where wrong has been made “okay” but that doesn’t discard a wave of change. It took men like Mandela 27 years in prison to realise a change in racial inequality so don’t expect the journey to be a walk in the park.
In whatever space you might be in, try make a difference. As a politician inspire people by showing them that your manifesto and how you campaign gets you elected. Not through vote riging and hate speech. As a director, create movies that will change the society and not corrupt morals. As a writer, inspire people with your words and most importantly as a parent reflect an image that you would want your children to be like.
Through The Mask 