You might be surprised by the title of the article. But please don’t. I love wine and I’m sure most of you do. But for me it’s a chilled drink (For someone who rarely drinks or goes out) plus when I have it I have some of the most intimate conversations with people. No disrespect to other alcohol brands or drinks but they’re not my thing. And that’s just life. We can’t all be the same. We can’t all like the same things, come from the same places and pick up same careers even when we’re twins. There’s just got to be some difference. And that’s the beauty of life. It creates so much diversity that you get to see thing’s on different lenses. Something I’ve come to appreciate as I get older. I’ve gotten to appreciate people for who they are. Whether they’re introverts (like me) or extroverts (who like to party) or amiable(people who experience both temperaments) I appreciate them for who they are. But sometimes it’s not the case. Most of us don’t even appreciate ourselves we try to fit in in a certain set standards so as to seem “cool / popular”. Something I strongly denounce. Just be yourself. People will like you for who you are, if they don’t then those aren’t meant to be your friends. For me as I stated up above, I’m an introvert. An INFJ (Introvert intuitive feeling judging) to be exact. I’m very quiet and when in a crowd of more than 10 people, sometimes I feel uncomfortable. I like helping others and I’m so concerned with worldly problems and bigger pictures I even forget about the present. I like specific things such as music, art and clothes. I’d rather listen to a whole Billie Elish album / Khalid or buy an old antique art piece or thing (such as a tv or a car) than keep up with what is trending. Surprisingly I’m better at performing and talking to a big crowd than interacting with them. I’m a musician and mostly after my performances I like to disappear and just go home. Rarely will you see me at after parties or taking photos📷 for socials. And that’s me. I can’t change myself. No matter how much I try. And I like that. I like who I am no matter how diverse I might be. As I’m getting older, I’ve learnt to embrace my diversity. Embrace my true self and only through that will I be able to appreciate others. Something I suggest you should also do. Just be yourself and the rest will be okay 😊. Also get to do a personality test (and understand yourself more) because through that you will truly get to know who you are and how to live with others.

It was a cold Easter Friday morning. I woke up earlier than usual and as the norm, I check my phone. I came across Olive’s tweet either by grace or by chance. The things which affirm that a higher being exists. I have also been struggling. Struggling to fight and find what’s right and what’s wrong. Trying to start over and failing. Each time promising thyself “I will do it”. But this time after reading his tweet I got motivated to do it more. More than I ever did. Because the negatives had taken a toll on me. A noticable toll. Money became my enemy, always sliping away from my arms. Friends I couldn’t keep. Those close noticed there was a problem. But this time I was determined. Not to please people but to work on myself to be better. Better than I was.This day will always serve as a new beginning. A new beginning to a new life, a new start, a new chapter just as Christ died on this day for our sins, so do I shed the past and wear a new suit. A new face a new shave a new home, if I could get a new name so as to reach the future my bed keeps on allowing me to dream about.

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‘Dread shine your light, so a child may follow, many have been lost along the way, until tonight, turns into tomorrow, teach them to be careful while at play” (Damian Marley) one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite artists. And at one of his performances he said he wrote this song for his nephews an nieces who are young adults growing. And it got me thinking. What example are we setting for people to follow? Recently there was a boy who posted a video online ranting about a girl who left him and it got people talking. Many people said he lacked good manners, while others blamed his parents. ‘How can a child say such kind of things?’

instead of the blame game, we should seat down and address the elephant in the room. He might be wrong for what he said but what difference is their from what politicians say ? or even clergy men like pastor Nganga? Sometimes it seems easy to blame the young people for their recklessness forgetting they learn from the older generation. Maybe he picked it up from television or the conversations he heard at home.

And the easiest place for people to learn things is from home. Home shapes an individual. Home prepares an individual for life. If at home one gets a wrong footing, it can have tremendous effects on his/her life. For example if a person grows up in a home where the language is vulgar, chances are high he will use that in everyday conversations.

We should then step up as a society and stop the blame game. Come to the table and see that young people model the older generation. The older generation then should set a good example. Not only the older generation, but also influential people. Musicians actors, journalists and even us as writers. We should set an example not to just live life without care.

Growing up, most of us we’re taught that by the time you get to 18 you should be able to live on your own. But is it true ? I don’t think so. This is because by the time you are 18, most likely you are finishing highschool, registering for University or doing A level’s ( Year 12, Year 13 or form 5 and six ) How then will you be able to fend for yourself ? For me growth is relative. It not only means growth in age, but also growth in terms of character and personality. Ever heard people say that one is old but not mature ? Most likely they are referring to his character. Which is a key element in growth. Some people might even be as old as seventy but if their character is weak, they still have not grown. IE ; (How they behave) Growth can also take another form. It can be outgrowing a habit in which you used to engage in before. At a higher chance those who do this outgrow a bad habit that they saw destructing their lives. Be it drinking, smoking, stealing or even the simplest as how you perceive people towards you. I can attest to this. For the past two years I decided to outgrow a habit which was disrupting my life and most of those who have known me prior and up to now have actually attested to seeing growth in my life. Also growth can be bettering yourself at what you do. Be it painting, writing or other skill’s and profession. You start becoming better and better at what you do and eventually the master of the trade. I recently read 50th law, a book written by Curtis Jackson alias 50 cent, and he talks about growth and says “Growth takes time and patience and bettering yourself to be the master” something I think most if possible all should apply. From the above points, I have tried to be brief but precise on the growth topic and I hope you as my reader have gained something.

I’m not an avid sports lover but for the past 2 year’s my friends have introduced me to the football craze and I think I’m liking it. The reason why I am talking about football is because of the half time. That’s the time the first half comes to an end and player’s take a break and come back to play for another forty five minutes. Usually it’s a time the coach talks to the player’s and motivates them and also a time the player’s plan on how to play in the second half and win the game. I remember the world cup. The half time saved so many teams and one that benefited most was the England team. Come to the just concluded Africa cup of nation’s, Senegal benefited a lot. Even during the UEFA champions league. Both Tottenham and Liverpool benefited a lot. A time I think should be included in life. Most of us go way beyond in what we do and even forget to take rests. And that’s actually what contributes to most mental and suicidal problems in our society. At times we burn out in search of trying to be the best at what we do. We try to compete with others and even compete with ourselves trying to surparse what we did before. Why ? Is it because of the praise that comes with being number one ? Or is it because we want to look successful ? Most of us went to schools where the rest periods we’re less and those who we’re seen to be relaxed and in no kind of pressure were seen as the “lazybones” Is it true ? I don’t think so. Actually it’s the best time in the world. But don’t confuse rest with pleasure. Resting does not mean going on a drinking spree from Friday to Sunday. Resting does not mean engaging in compulsive sexual behavior’s. Resting does not mean sleeping the whole day during leave days. Rest actually means taking time to analyze what you do in a more relaxed manner. You might be a scientist, working on research and innovations. You might decide to take the weekends or even leave days to analyze your work and see where you went wrong. Where you need to research more, what you need to tell the world. That’s real rest. You might also be a teacher, a doctor, an accountant or even a musician. You decide to take a rest and see why your music is not selling, you decide to analyze why your students are not getting a certain topic you are teaching. Why a judge ruled against your favor. All with the aim of growing your skills. We shouldn’t just be full-time workers without taking any rests. Even the Lord Almighty the first ever known worker took a rest. He even commanded us to take rests and observe the Sabbath as a holy day. Why do we then try to outdo him ? Of which we shouldn’t. We should always take rests and try to analyze things slowly so as to be able to provide the best solutions. For I believe when one is relaxed and is not in any kind of pressure, they deliver to their potential best.

Growing up, my Dad built our home in Chuka some thirty years ago. At first it was among the most beautiful houses in that area but as time went by, more and more developments came up and with the county government system, the area has grown rapidly. But my Dad is still happy with the home. Actually he enjoys staying there compared to Nairobi. Not because it is a new home or as fancy as others, but because of the love he has for it. Even while other’s are building bigger and more decent home’s, he enjoys the comfort of what he has. Sometimes that has always left me in wonders. Considering life’s fast pace, most of us are ashamed of our weaknesses or things that appear to be undermining in our lives. It’s rare to see people post about their failures. On social media, all you see is gilts and glamour and at times you wonder, “Do people have bad day’s ?” But one thing I have learnt is those things we try to hide are actually what build us and mould us to success. Those un accepted proposals, that bad song, that bad article, that bad painting are what bring out success. And as they say “dawn comes after the darkest hour”. From real life experience we have people like Steve jobs, T.D Jake’s, Nelson Mandela, Wangari Maathai and Sean Combs all in who are my role model’s and besides that, it’s their failures that built them to success. Nelson Mandela was imprisoned for 27 years, lost time with his family but he didn’t give up on his quest for a free and democratic South Africa. Same to Wangari Maathai, on her quest to a green kenya. Even at some point the government called her “mad woman”. For Steve jobs Apple almost didn’t make it through, he had a hard time pricing it and at some point people were refusing theMacintosh computers. But that didn’t derail him. He persisted and today Apple is the first company in the world to reach $1B mark in net profit. For T.D Jake’s it was with his ministry, he even records it in his book “Soar to Great Heights” of how he struggled to keep his ministry afloat and how he has grown to where he is. For Sean Combs it’s his music. Being among the pioneers of mogul business in music industry, he endured a lot of backlash from people who didn’t believe in him and surprisingly through alot of rejection, he is among the richest musician’s in the world and not only that, a smart business man who ranks with giant’s such as Alibaba and Warren Buffett. I wish we had more people who could courageously talk about their weaknesses. Our mentality should not only be filled with success. Go beyond the glam, go behind closed doors, those dark nights are what builds us. Personally I have a very small percentage of role model’s I look up to. Not because I hate role model’s but because I admire people who are honest and courageous enough to share about their failures. Something of suggest to you my fellow reader considering this being my point of view.

Is it ? Should I ? Will I be judged for speaking up ? A question difficult to answer. Most of us (Me included) grew up with the notion that you shouldn’t break down or even share with others. Whenever you felt down, grown-ups told us stress is theirs. “School can’t stress you” “hujaonja maisha bado” I kept wondering to my self, really ? I remember when my mum passed away, most men told me I should man up and not cry. I soaked my emotions inside and the pain kept eating me up year’s later. Something I know most of those who have lost a loved one go through. To make matters worse, being an African has it’s own expectations on both boys and men. You are supposed to be as strong as a lion, nothing should tear you down while on the other hand, women are seen as the one’s to be submissive and carry the emotional baggage. Why so ? Do men lack heart’s ? I guess that’s why off late in Africa there has been a wave of men butchering their families and committing suicide. Leave alone Africa, its a worldly thing. When was the last time you saw a man cry on TV ? Or even a movie ? Look at Game of thrones, look at power, men are the ones who are soaking their emotions inside. Remember what happened to Ghost after Reena passed ? Well the notion of men soaking their emotions should change. Also for women too. They are not just the sentimental one’s. Because if you are sentimental for too long and don’t heal from the situation, it keeps haunting you. It’s like trying to punch a wall. No matter how strong you are, you cant bring it down. The best way to end this problem on my thinking is to allow people to let out. Both men and women. Let’s have support systems (those real friends, those wellness groups) those places where we can vent ourselves out. Companies should start checking on their employees, parents should start talking to their children, churches should stop condemning and start being part of people’s lives. Ask them how their week was, what are they going through, are they okay ? And with that, the world will be a better place .

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton