IT TAKES TIME

*Dedication, hard work plus patience, the sum of all my sacrifice*

Yes, I’m back. I know my dear reader that you have been asking where I went but here I am. I had taken a small break first because I wanted to figure out what is next in my life. How do I move from where I am to the next position? Secondly, I was going through a lot both mentally and emotionally. And as a creative, if not in the right frame, it’s hard to churn out ideas to the world. Thirdly, I’ve been thinking about how do I grow my brand from just a write-up to something that can transform people’s lives. Soon much more will come from through the mask. Even a podcast/vlog.

Thank you for your patience. To today’s topic. Actually, it coincides with what is happening in Kenya. The general elections and the anxiety that has arisen. Everyone wants to know who is the president. Why is it taking long before they announce? is there a plan to rig the elections?

Well, I don’t think so. We live in a society where everything is instant so much so when something takes a while to appear, we get frustrated. When you want coffee, place your cup in the coffee maker, when you want warm food, place it in the microwave. If you want food, order and Jumia will deliver to your doorstep. Want your favorite whiskey or wine, order and dial a delivery will do the job.

Even our favorite celebrities are endorsing this. Recently I heard some talk about cooking. How they despise the whole process, they’d rather order than cook. “We cook when we want to and doing the dishes, is a whole lot of process.” But when they are hungry, do they eat when they want to or because they have to? Questions to ponder on.

We have reached a level where so many of us despise patience and putting effort in that we now have instant standards. For example in dating. If a man doesn’t treat a lady, take her out then there is no need for being together. A certain meme read that if he doesn’t know your waist size and shoe size, leave him. People don’t want to work hard for what they want because it will take time rather they put pressure on instantaneity. Same case for men. You want to meet someone today, go out the next boom you’ve had intimacy, and in a month or two call each other lovers. Well, it doesn’t work like that. You don’t even know them. How can someone be your girlfriend yet you’ve only known them when they are happy? do you know what ticks them off? what fears do they have? what’s their favorite drink? I guess stick to Steve Harvey’s 90-day rule of sex.

As instant as we want things, let’s remember that good things take time to arrive. It takes a lot of digging for miners before they can get gold but it’s easier to mine brass and silver. On the weighing scale, gold costs more than silver. Cheating your way to a job seems easy than putting in the hard work but the hard work pays off because you will have gained experience. You will know what to do when a crisis occurs.

In 2017 when we rushed the electioneering process, what arose was too many abnormalities and inconsistencies that put the country on the brink of chaos. The courts ruled that there was no transparency and the affected parties took to demonstrations once the grievances were not met. Now in 2022, the process looks slow but it leaves no room for anyone to rumble. And that’s how to live life. Rather take the long road and just like Mandela, the 27 years will pay off. Adios, my reader!

I FOUND ME

*Get rid of the old yeast, so that you may be a new unleavened batch—as you really are*

Have you ever walked and got lost then you found your way? That good feeling. Or walking at night and coming across a place with light? Well, thats the idea of my article today. Finding yourself. Often, you will be caught up in life till things make you forget about who you are.

Doing things the same way gets you the same results. This can frustrate till you one day squeal: “Life is hard”. Is it? Yes but I believe it can be made simpler. Not by seating down but by finding yourself.

Then again, you may ask: “What is finding yourself? Who am I? Where do I want to be?” If this questions keep lingering in your mind, then you are on a journey to discovery.
Because finding yourself is a journey with no formula but a Genesis. A speaker might give you ten keys to success but never keys to your own sucess. The fact is that my life’s journey cannot the same as that of my friends. Reason being we are all uniquely built.

And all you need is that one moment of realization. Currently, I’m reading the Tina Turner biography and in that book she details that it had to reach the point that she could stand up to Ike’s abuse that she finally got free. If she didn’t do so would she be free? The same to Jay Z. He details in his own book (Decoded) that after the murder charge he got it’s what pushed him to change his life. Same to Gucci mane who says (in his book) that it took him to almost loose everything and especially the person he loved that he had to change. The Gucci mane of 2007 is different from that of 2022. Much masculine and sharper in thinking.

Even though you get to that one moment of realization, you need to think of how far you have come and what you have lost and where you want to be. Tina looked at her life and all she had lost and realized that she is wasting time and years don’t go backwards. That pushed her. You might be putting up with someone in a relationship yet it is draining you much. Holding you back from your destiny and the love you deserve.
Like Nipsey Hussle. 50 cent in his book (Hustle hard, hustle smarter) pens down how if not being around the same place as he started, Nipsey would have been alive. He stayed too long inert at the hood.

Get off that abusive relationship. Get rid of that friend who is pulling you back. Stagnant and never plans for his/her future. Like Jenifer Lopez and Diddy. If she didn’t leave Diddy, we wouldn’t have the successful JLO we do know.

Not saying that Diddy is a bad man rather I’m pointing on the direction JLO wanted to take. Or Kim Kardashian waking away from Kanye west. She put up with a lot that drained her energy. But when she realized what she had lost, she decided enough is enough. To you my reader, when is your enough? How much more do you think you can put up with?

NEW DAWN

*But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved*

As the corona pandemic fades away, so does a new dawn start. It seemed impossible to reach a point where we would walk mask free. The last two years have really taken a toll on the world.

But then again, that’s how the world works. Full of different seasons. One bright, another gloomy. Hence weather cycles: winter, summer, autumn and spring. If it’s summer we wear freely. If it’s winter, we keep warm. We know when to plant and harvest.

Though when it comes to our daily human life, we skip this seasons. When you are down, you feel as if you will never get up. And when you’re up, you feel as if the world revolves around you. Forgetting things do change. As lucky dube once sang: “Be good to the people on your way up the ladder, you’ll meet them on your way down”.

And no one is in control of fate. You might have a large sum of money in your account and suddenly the stock market crashes. Or you fall ill and need money for treatment? What do you do? We’ll that you have to answer alone. But then again, as the title suggests (new dawn). A time to start, be great and chase your dreams. I remember when Covid started, almost all media and news reports were negative so much so that some suggested that “we’ll never be able to go back to how life was.”

But here we are. Mask free? Were they right? I don’t think so. And that should serve as a lesson to you my dear reader. Sometimes situations, life and people may put you down but it doesn’t mean you can’t get back up. Just because you are struggling doesn’t mean one day you’ll never be successful. Or because you live in a shanty town you can’t own a house. Embrace the struggle and know that joy comes in the morning.

NEW FUTURE (From an old Past)

He said to me, education is the key, yeah
As a little boy, I thought I know
What I was doing, yeah, man
But today, here I am in jail

Have you ever asked yourself why you do things the way you do? or subconsciously you just do them? Let’s take the example of religion. Do you go to church or the mosque because you want to go or do you go because you grew up going to the madrasa? Do you have a personal relationship with God? do you read the bible? well, that’s food for thought.

Most of us do things without ever having an “I” imprint in them, following blindly. We go to work (because we have to pay bills), have to get kids, and married by a certain age (because that’s how my parents and uncles told me). Without ever truly being ourselves. There is always a driving force that is behind us. Not disputing guidance but then, if you rely on others to be you, then at what point do you express yourself? Can’t you say that you are not prepared to get married and you want to keep searching till you find your partner? when prepared? people will be angry but in the end, you will have lived your truth.

I like what Big Ted said recently in his CTA (Cleaning The Airvawes) episode. He said despite his father being a bishop, his personal relationship with God has nothing to do with him. It’s all about him. His experiences and what God has done for him in his life, have made him strong in faith. Well, are there any more Big Ted’s in our society? I believe so and for things to change, we first need to analyze the past, what worked and didn’t so that we know what needs to be left and what needs to be kept. When a society is consciously aware, individuals are personally improved.

There are four vital things that I believe need to be addressed. First, it’s sex, second alcoholism, third education, and fourth success. Let us begin with sex. For so long sex (esp in the African setting and black American setting) has been viewed as a taboo and a topic of rare conversation. Most of us growing up viewed sex either as a “gift during marriage” or that “sex before marriage being a sin.” But has anyone ever told you why it is a sin? No. That’s why the highest number of sex, sexual workers, and sex-related complications in America is prevalent among the black community. And one of the biggest flaws of Mr. Mandela’s government was the HIV epidemic. Not because he couldn’t tackle it, but because his government refused to speak about it.

The second is alcoholism. In most cases, most of us growing up have either looked at alcohol as a “bad thing” or “something that is consumed by those who are smart in our society.” Either because our parents drank it or because we saw it as a cool thing from our favorite movies. But no one tells you of its dangers. No one tells you of responsible drinking. And I remember last year a government official telling me that the highest number of drinkers in Kenya are aged between 18 -40. She was worried because Kenya’s population is made up of the youth and if the youth are wasting themselves, then who will build the future?

The third is education. Growing up I remember the four main careers that seemed “successful” were law, medicine, engineering, and architecture. You had to aspire to be one of those. And extracurricular activities were seen as of “no importance” value and if you dared say you wanted to be a musician, you were seen as a bad person. And fourth success. Success in our society from time immemorial has always been viewed on the lens of money, prestige and status. The more money you have, the more successful you are thought to be. But again, we forget that money comes and goes away. What if today you get bankrupt or you get fired? Does it mean you become unsuccessful?

Like Obama writes in his book “Dreams from my father”. Where he says that at one point his father got so broke that he sent his sister (Auma) to buy him cigarettes with no money but a mere word “tell him you’re Obama’s daughter. The one who helped shape Kenya’s government.” She did so and the shopkeeper replied saying with no money, no cigarettes. Auma then had to work and look for money and went back home with the packet. Her father Obama SNR thought it was his name that worked magic but it wasn’t. Auma didn’t want to disappoint her father.

It’s saddening. But I am a firm believer in change. That things can be better. We just need to put the best foot foward and start the journey. Let’s start by talking. Having honest and truthful conversations. For example on sex. Let’s teach children and young adults about it. Let them know why it is dangerous to engage in immoral sexual behaviors. Tell them about things such as sexual transmitted diseases. Teach them when they get married sex shouldn’t be a relationship control tool but a bonding tool. Let them know that sex isn’t just about the physical touch but there’s much more than that. Like children. How many does a couple want and how many can you manage to raise?

Or on alcoholism. Teach people especially teens and the youth on it. Teach them on vices such as drunk driving, substance addiction, irresponsible spending and lifestyle diseases. I was recently watching a program on TV (Citizen in the morning 16/3/2022) and they were discussing about hypertension and heart diseases. And the most prevalent cause of the above conditions they mentioned was the lifestyle an individual is living. What you eat and put in your body. If you consume large amounts of alcohol, chances are you are susceptible to such kind of diseases. And it is eating away a whole lot of people.

Let’s start making the changes so that we can have a better tomorrow. Where people will be fully satisfied with the work they do despite the position they hold and where people will be much open to discuss issues such as education and sex so that we can save our generation.

OLDER, BOLDER & WISER

Cause whatever you love can be taken away, so live like it’s your dying day

There’s a reggae song that goes: “Well the years have come and the years have gone Still the son of man keeps a trotting on Journey, journey on. Yet from innocence to experience.From dependence to independence Journey, journey on. Well now i have love and i have been loved. I have judged and I have been judged. Journey, journey on. So where there come a storm there’s a victory. Cause I live all and all lives in me. Journey, journey on” (Jimmy Cliff) This sums up the story of my life.

Another year. Wow time really flies. Just the other day it was me and my mom (trotting) everywhere to now being alone (having to figure out) things on my own. Trying to be a man in this cold world. (I never knew adulting would be this hard) But hey, that’s the beauty of life. Struggles building us.

Some of the lessons I’m learning in this new season is to always utilize each given opportunity. Because you never know when It’ll be gone. Eminem once sang: “you better loose yourself in the moment and never let it go, you’ve got one chance to show, better never let it go”

Another lesson I’ve learnt it’s okay to be you. You’ll never please everyone and not everybody will like you. And never do things in order to ” fit in” or “coolest dude or lady”. The downfall of social media and technology is that everyone always wants to show how they’ve got their shit together and they’re all glamorous. It has now engrained a thinking in most people to always “be out drinking” or ” on holiday”. I mean if you’re always drinking, when do you have time to take care of yourself?

Well lemme not be not be too political but those are some of the nuggets life has handed me. Now I’m at a better position than I was before. Done with cognitive development and ready for the next step. Older, bolder and wiser. Join me on this journey by sparing a few minutes for a read 🥂🍻

SUNRISE

When the sun perks up, we know the day has started. Just as so, the year 2022 is on the starting point. “On your marks” the whistle is blown.

But are we really ready for it? How enthusiastic are you? Do you think it’ll be your year? Don’t just say it, claim it.
And how do you do so? Many are the times we write resolutions but on reaching February, the course is diverted. By July life is back to normal. Helter skelter we run. Forgetting we had a mission to loose weight, stop drinking or start that business.

A recent study has shown that most people by January 17th are either on track with their resolutions or are off track. Which side of the pendulum do you want to be on?
My dear reader, be enthusiastic but keep the faith. The load might be heavy but don’t be weary. If your goal is to end an addiction, start by identifying the triggers and why you engage in a certain vice. Might it be you smoke when stressed?

Then find alternative methods to vent. You can decide when stressed to go for a run, or take a walk, read a book. And that way your goal will be reached. Have a destination set for December and start the journey. Fuel the car (dreams, hopes, aspirations), look at the map (what do J need to do to get there?) Then embark on the journey (perseverance) and lastly arrive at your destination (goal).

Have a lovely and prosperous 2022

21 FOR 2021

Arise, shine and be the best that you can

When the year ends, most of us are usually making merry, enjoying with friends and family. Though for me, I prefer to use the time to reflect and plan ahead for the incoming year. A new chapter, 365 vibrant days.
And as I do so this year, I’ve decided to be different. Because times have also changed thus promoting my move. 21 lessons for 2021. Things I’ve learnt that I think will be beneficial to you my reader.

1. EACH OPPORTUNITY IS A LEARNING OPPORTUNITY: Whatever opportunities life offers you, grab them and learn from them. Because when you learn, you grow.

2. YOU CAN’T PLEASE EVERYONE: Not everyone will like you. And that’s okay. Plus you can’t fit in everyone’s shoes. That’s why you’re feet are your’s and the type of shoe you like is what you like. You find it at a specific shop. Nike and Adidas are both sport’s shoes but they appeal to different customers.

3. BE REAL: Be true to who you are and live it to the fullest. Embrace the acne on your face, your dark skin. Because through that, people will love you for who you are.

4. IT DOESN’T HAVE TO ALWAYS WORK OUT: Accept that things won’t always go your way. And not all the time you’ll hear a yes. A no or a fail will teach you valuable lessons.

5. FAIL FORWARD: Because that’s the only way you grow. You’ll learn what not to do again.

6. ON TO THE NEXT ONE: Too many people to love you, too many to hug you. Too many to kiss you. Don’t stress over the one who said no. Or that friend that “cut you off”. You’ll make more friends, meet a new lover and you’ll be surprised.

7. HOW MANY BOOKS ? Do you read? Do you want to expand your knowledge capacity? Do you want to learn from others? Your idol? Your role model?

8. MOOD FOR MUSIC: Don’t just listen to music for the sake of listening. Or listening to the “latest song”. Look for music that touches your soul, the songs that speak to your heart, the songs that get you through the trying times. On my Spotify you’ll find that reggae and soul music are my most listened to genres of 2021.

9. PODCASTS? VLOGS? Subscribe to one, two or three. Not only will you enjoy, but you’ll definitely learn a lot. Thank you Mr Obama and Oprah.

10. ENJOY SMALL WINS: Celebrate those teensy – weensy moments. Don’t wait for that “big break” it might not come.

11. NO WAYS TO BECOME RICHER: Success lies in your hands. Your life is different from Steve Jobs or Richard Branson. Not dismissing the advice they give but heck, your life is your life. We all face different circumstances thus “10 ways” won’t work for everyone. Just like my 21 lessons are my personal reflections. They might be for you, they might not.

12. “YOLO” THE WORST MANTRA: If you only live once, why do you have different life experiences. Once you were a child, pre – teen, teen, youth, adult and ultimately a grandma or grandpa. That’s the lifecycle. But don’t waste it at one point. Or think there’s more time. You start drinking at 21 by the time your 60, you’ll be a full blown alcoholic suffering from various diseases.

13. INNER PEACE: “Protect your life. It’s your one and only” From Beres harmond and Popcaan’s song. Inner peace is valuable because when you’re at ease, you’ll definitely be at your best. Shun away from negativity, bad vibes and low vibrational people.

14. WORKOUT WORKOUT WORKOUT: Don’t wait for lifestyle disease’s to hit you up. Do it now & you’ll enjoy it. Prevention is better than cure.

15. MY FRIENDS ARE MY INFLUENCE: If 4 of your friends are into gang and gang related stuff, definitely you’ll be the fifth. No miracle about that. Honestly some of the best people that have changed me this year have been my friends.

16. SOCIAL MEDIA CLOUT: Don’t chase it. A leopard doesn’t stay the same place with a cat. You’ll please five to ten people for likes wherase your mental and personal health is at risk.

17. RAISE YOUR STANDARDS: When you are you, you are true to who you really are. Don’t degrade so as to fit with other’s. Be authentically you. If you don’t drink, that’s fine. You don’t have to to please people.

18. MEDITATION: Doesn’t have to be the Buddhist one. Take sometime off from the usual you and close your eyes. Be in a trance and release yourself to the inner world. Amazing it’ll be.

19. EXPIRY DATE: Food has it, so does life. Just that at times it’s a bit hidden or we ignore it. We continue till life gets us sick. Like TD. Jakes, “Let it go”. I suggest you get his book (Let it go ; forgive so that you can be forgiven)

20. NEW GOALS BUT SAME YOU ? Naah. That doesn’t work. The year will still be the same unless you introspect. Nobody’s gonna do the work for you.

21. GOD, GOD, GOD: Your best friend, your counsel, your guider. It’s not about religion but the relationship with him. Read the Quran, the Bhagavad Gita, the Bible and get to know him. He will amaze you. “Say a prayer and chant Psalms, prayer a day keep the evil calm
You don’t have to go to church or be a Christian to call on Jah name
Shout out tha name Jehovah in the valleys
Shout out tha name Jehovah on the hills
Shout out tha name Jehovah on the plains or even if it rains
Call on the name, call on Jah name the same, call on the name, yeah” (Sanchez)

Gear forward, tuck your seatbelt in and get ready for the 2022 journey. Adios my reader ♥️♥️

WORRY NOT

The past month leading to this was quite a heavy one on me. From ailing friends and family to overwhelming school projects. I questioned why all this was happening. Why to family? why to my friends? why all this work? but then again I remembered that I have been to far much worse circumstances and overcame them. The experience lead me to write this months article worry not. At times, we are confronted with strenuous circumstances which deprive us of our moxie and we end up low blown, depressed and with nowhere to turn to.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who has gone through such. Life is not a straight line where everyday the sun shines and we giggle on amusement. There times where we feel gloomy, just like clouds preparing for a pour. You receive those disappointing news, a family member is demised, you have contracted Covid, you have been laid off. Usually when they come, 90% of the time people are not yet prepared. That’s why after burials people still wish that those gone to be around. Even getting rid of their personal items becomes tedious.

What then do you do? I’m not a counselor nor a spiritual leader but I feel my experiences and what I did can be of great value to all who come across this article. Be male or female, suffering knows no gender. Though there might exist disparities, I firmly believe not so much. Death of a family member will affect both a father and a mother the same way just the expression of the pain might be different. When you are faced with a difficult or overwhelming situation, I believe the first thing is to take a deep brerath.

Be in the moment. Then allow yourself to digest the news. Follow by telling yourself that you will overcome it. A positive attitude has been linked to speeding up recovery in patients. Then look for ways to maneuver through the tussle. As you look for ways to maneuver, remember that you are not the only one going through the problem. And as you do so, look for a book or a video, or a podcast that will always keep your spirits up.

And most importantly, don’t forget the wise words of the bible that God will never put you through something that he cant get you out of.

FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)

A few weeks ago Kenya hosted the WRC championships and it became the talk of the town. “Vasha” was the in thing. People were flocking there. Surprisingly most of those who attended didn’t have a clue about the rally or what it was all about. Most if not all attendees were there because of the hype and to show others ”they were there”

And that’s the basis of my article today. Fear of missing out. Have you ever found yourself doing something not because you wanted to but because of the pressure of friends or social media? well I’m sure I’m not the only one. At this digital age, were at a point where people don’t do things because they enjoy but because they want to please others. We go to a restaurant not to enjoy the meal but to post the picture on Instagram.

What a place we are in. Genuine, unpretentious and happy moments have all died down and we are reduced to boasting, posting and roasting. We do things because we want others to see we were there or we do things to keep a certain class of friends. Why? instead of technology bringing us together, we are more distant and are in competition with one another. We want to look good on social media and maintain a certain class on the ground.

What I’ve come to see in life is that the more you struggle the more you end up failing. Why can’t you go to a restaurant and enjoy the scrumptious meal and drinks without posting? or why do you have to struggle to maintain certain lifestyle or keep up with certain friends? If you don’t feel comfortable being around a certain type of people, the easiest thing to do is walk away. No one is going to kill you for that. Protect your sanity, enjoy moments and please no one but yourself.

PART OF ME

Growing up, together with my family we called Santack estate home. That is where I learnt how to make friends, ride my first bike, cook food with friends and basically all that is there to do with childhood. It was fun experience I wont lie to you. And up to now though we shifted years back, I find myself a regular guest there talking to some of my old friends. Not because I lack new friends but there is a part of me that still feels attached to the estate.

Just like Duane Stephenson and Tarrus Riley sung in their mega hit ghetto religion : “I’m a part of the ghetto, the ghetto is a part of me.” That’s how I am. I guess I’m not the only one. Psychologically it has been proven that we form attitudes and habits from our homes and the environments we grew up in. The environment shapes who we are and most likely what we become. That’s why when you ask two children (baby x and baby y) what they want to become when they grow up, they will provide different answers. With a high prevalence on their environment.

Yes. Our environment forms our worldview. It gives us a picture of how life should be. Like in the tv series the wire. The children in the environment of drug dealing and violence ended up being peddlers themselves. They mirrored what they saw in front of them and when the school tried to impact a different life in them, they were met with resistance. The re – evaluation program didn’t work.

Not because people can’t change, but we are more accustomed to what we saw and heard. As the saying goes : “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” That’s how we humans are. It might be a good thing to be a part and model what you saw in front of you, but it can also be another challenging part if what was in front was negative. If for instance you grew around thieves? does it mean you must be a thief?

No. Sometimes we should take lessons from the experiences. If for example you’re father was a drunkard. You don’t have to end up on the same road. You can say that for how I saw alcohol being abused at home, I will not drink. Or if your environment was in the shanty dwellings. You don’t have to end up there. You can work hard in school and create a better life for yourself. As I conclude, be a part of where you come from but also pick lessons from the same same places and use them as the fuel for a better tomorrow.