I’m not an avid sports lover but for the past 2 year’s my friends have introduced me to the football craze and I think I’m liking it. The reason why I am talking about football is because of the half time. That’s the time the first half comes to an end and player’s take a break and come back to play for another forty five minutes. Usually it’s a time the coach talks to the player’s and motivates them and also a time the player’s plan on how to play in the second half and win the game. I remember the world cup. The half time saved so many teams and one that benefited most was the England team. Come to the just concluded Africa cup of nation’s, Senegal benefited a lot. Even during the UEFA champions league. Both Tottenham and Liverpool benefited a lot. A time I think should be included in life. Most of us go way beyond in what we do and even forget to take rests. And that’s actually what contributes to most mental and suicidal problems in our society. At times we burn out in search of trying to be the best at what we do. We try to compete with others and even compete with ourselves trying to surparse what we did before. Why ? Is it because of the praise that comes with being number one ? Or is it because we want to look successful ? Most of us went to schools where the rest periods we’re less and those who we’re seen to be relaxed and in no kind of pressure were seen as the “lazybones” Is it true ? I don’t think so. Actually it’s the best time in the world. But don’t confuse rest with pleasure. Resting does not mean going on a drinking spree from Friday to Sunday. Resting does not mean engaging in compulsive sexual behavior’s. Resting does not mean sleeping the whole day during leave days. Rest actually means taking time to analyze what you do in a more relaxed manner. You might be a scientist, working on research and innovations. You might decide to take the weekends or even leave days to analyze your work and see where you went wrong. Where you need to research more, what you need to tell the world. That’s real rest. You might also be a teacher, a doctor, an accountant or even a musician. You decide to take a rest and see why your music is not selling, you decide to analyze why your students are not getting a certain topic you are teaching. Why a judge ruled against your favor. All with the aim of growing your skills. We shouldn’t just be full-time workers without taking any rests. Even the Lord Almighty the first ever known worker took a rest. He even commanded us to take rests and observe the Sabbath as a holy day. Why do we then try to outdo him ? Of which we shouldn’t. We should always take rests and try to analyze things slowly so as to be able to provide the best solutions. For I believe when one is relaxed and is not in any kind of pressure, they deliver to their potential best.

Growing up, my Dad built our home in Chuka some thirty years ago. At first it was among the most beautiful houses in that area but as time went by, more and more developments came up and with the county government system, the area has grown rapidly. But my Dad is still happy with the home. Actually he enjoys staying there compared to Nairobi. Not because it is a new home or as fancy as others, but because of the love he has for it. Even while other’s are building bigger and more decent home’s, he enjoys the comfort of what he has. Sometimes that has always left me in wonders. Considering life’s fast pace, most of us are ashamed of our weaknesses or things that appear to be undermining in our lives. It’s rare to see people post about their failures. On social media, all you see is gilts and glamour and at times you wonder, “Do people have bad day’s ?” But one thing I have learnt is those things we try to hide are actually what build us and mould us to success. Those un accepted proposals, that bad song, that bad article, that bad painting are what bring out success. And as they say “dawn comes after the darkest hour”. From real life experience we have people like Steve jobs, T.D Jake’s, Nelson Mandela, Wangari Maathai and Sean Combs all in who are my role model’s and besides that, it’s their failures that built them to success. Nelson Mandela was imprisoned for 27 years, lost time with his family but he didn’t give up on his quest for a free and democratic South Africa. Same to Wangari Maathai, on her quest to a green kenya. Even at some point the government called her “mad woman”. For Steve jobs Apple almost didn’t make it through, he had a hard time pricing it and at some point people were refusing theMacintosh computers. But that didn’t derail him. He persisted and today Apple is the first company in the world to reach $1B mark in net profit. For T.D Jake’s it was with his ministry, he even records it in his book “Soar to Great Heights” of how he struggled to keep his ministry afloat and how he has grown to where he is. For Sean Combs it’s his music. Being among the pioneers of mogul business in music industry, he endured a lot of backlash from people who didn’t believe in him and surprisingly through alot of rejection, he is among the richest musician’s in the world and not only that, a smart business man who ranks with giant’s such as Alibaba and Warren Buffett. I wish we had more people who could courageously talk about their weaknesses. Our mentality should not only be filled with success. Go beyond the glam, go behind closed doors, those dark nights are what builds us. Personally I have a very small percentage of role model’s I look up to. Not because I hate role model’s but because I admire people who are honest and courageous enough to share about their failures. Something of suggest to you my fellow reader considering this being my point of view.

Is it ? Should I ? Will I be judged for speaking up ? A question difficult to answer. Most of us (Me included) grew up with the notion that you shouldn’t break down or even share with others. Whenever you felt down, grown-ups told us stress is theirs. “School can’t stress you” “hujaonja maisha bado” I kept wondering to my self, really ? I remember when my mum passed away, most men told me I should man up and not cry. I soaked my emotions inside and the pain kept eating me up year’s later. Something I know most of those who have lost a loved one go through. To make matters worse, being an African has it’s own expectations on both boys and men. You are supposed to be as strong as a lion, nothing should tear you down while on the other hand, women are seen as the one’s to be submissive and carry the emotional baggage. Why so ? Do men lack heart’s ? I guess that’s why off late in Africa there has been a wave of men butchering their families and committing suicide. Leave alone Africa, its a worldly thing. When was the last time you saw a man cry on TV ? Or even a movie ? Look at Game of thrones, look at power, men are the ones who are soaking their emotions inside. Remember what happened to Ghost after Reena passed ? Well the notion of men soaking their emotions should change. Also for women too. They are not just the sentimental one’s. Because if you are sentimental for too long and don’t heal from the situation, it keeps haunting you. It’s like trying to punch a wall. No matter how strong you are, you cant bring it down. The best way to end this problem on my thinking is to allow people to let out. Both men and women. Let’s have support systems (those real friends, those wellness groups) those places where we can vent ourselves out. Companies should start checking on their employees, parents should start talking to their children, churches should stop condemning and start being part of people’s lives. Ask them how their week was, what are they going through, are they okay ? And with that, the world will be a better place .

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton