LOST IN MYSELF (TRYING TO FIND ME)

Well. My dear reader. It’s been quite the year. I can say both positive and negative. First I never thought that I’d one day graduate and secondly, I never expected life to be as strenuous as it is. I guess nobody prepares you for what’s ahead.

My silence has been due to the fact that I’ve been trying to find myself amidst the chaos. The drama from home, life, love, and cents. Worse off life is moving at its own pace. Not the way I expected it to be. With all that, pouring my thoughts to you my reader became a huddle. But guess what, something inside of me irks to inspire you. To give out my beautifully crafted thoughts. I know you have missed me and here I am.

Although a lot has been overwhelming, I can say it has also taught me valuable gems that I think are worthy of sharing. Sometimes you might expect those that are closest to you to be the source of happiness yet they end up being the ones inflicting pain. What do you do? I have learned the hard way just like Konshens sings: “seek not the approval of a man or a woman, Mankind here today, tomorrow they are gone.” Or like Gloria Muliro: “If God was asking human beings how we ought to behave, then I’d not be the way I am and still I’d not be where I am”

There is also societal expectation. Se out expiry dates. Ages to get married, finish school, what jobs to do and where to call home. And if you are not careful enough you will feel frustrated if you don’t fit into this. You will be a wild goose chaser on things that are unattainable.

There is also shame and guilt. You feel bad for making mistakes. People leaving you. Having to start again. This is because we grew up knowing that failure is bad and if you got a D in math, then you don’t know how to count. Well, what if you didn’t understand the questions? or you were sick? Or you are good at something else not necessarily math?

Well, that is our society and what it has been teaching me. I hope the short nuggets will inspire you to see that despite what you are going through, everything will be okay. Like 2 Pac told us: “But please don’t cry, dry your eyes, never let up. Keep ya head up, ooh, child, things are gonna get easier Keep-keep ya head up, ooh, child, things’ll get brighter”

IT TAKES TIME

*Dedication, hard work plus patience, the sum of all my sacrifice*

Yes, I’m back. I know my dear reader that you have been asking where I went but here I am. I had taken a small break first because I wanted to figure out what is next in my life. How do I move from where I am to the next position? Secondly, I was going through a lot both mentally and emotionally. And as a creative, if not in the right frame, it’s hard to churn out ideas to the world. Thirdly, I’ve been thinking about how do I grow my brand from just a write-up to something that can transform people’s lives. Soon much more will come from through the mask. Even a podcast/vlog.

Thank you for your patience. To today’s topic. Actually, it coincides with what is happening in Kenya. The general elections and the anxiety that has arisen. Everyone wants to know who is the president. Why is it taking long before they announce? is there a plan to rig the elections?

Well, I don’t think so. We live in a society where everything is instant so much so when something takes a while to appear, we get frustrated. When you want coffee, place your cup in the coffee maker, when you want warm food, place it in the microwave. If you want food, order and Jumia will deliver to your doorstep. Want your favorite whiskey or wine, order and dial a delivery will do the job.

Even our favorite celebrities are endorsing this. Recently I heard some talk about cooking. How they despise the whole process, they’d rather order than cook. “We cook when we want to and doing the dishes, is a whole lot of process.” But when they are hungry, do they eat when they want to or because they have to? Questions to ponder on.

We have reached a level where so many of us despise patience and putting effort in that we now have instant standards. For example in dating. If a man doesn’t treat a lady, take her out then there is no need for being together. A certain meme read that if he doesn’t know your waist size and shoe size, leave him. People don’t want to work hard for what they want because it will take time rather they put pressure on instantaneity. Same case for men. You want to meet someone today, go out the next boom you’ve had intimacy, and in a month or two call each other lovers. Well, it doesn’t work like that. You don’t even know them. How can someone be your girlfriend yet you’ve only known them when they are happy? do you know what ticks them off? what fears do they have? what’s their favorite drink? I guess stick to Steve Harvey’s 90-day rule of sex.

As instant as we want things, let’s remember that good things take time to arrive. It takes a lot of digging for miners before they can get gold but it’s easier to mine brass and silver. On the weighing scale, gold costs more than silver. Cheating your way to a job seems easy than putting in the hard work but the hard work pays off because you will have gained experience. You will know what to do when a crisis occurs.

In 2017 when we rushed the electioneering process, what arose was too many abnormalities and inconsistencies that put the country on the brink of chaos. The courts ruled that there was no transparency and the affected parties took to demonstrations once the grievances were not met. Now in 2022, the process looks slow but it leaves no room for anyone to rumble. And that’s how to live life. Rather take the long road and just like Mandela, the 27 years will pay off. Adios, my reader!

CYCLIC

*Rise up falling suffer*
*Rise and take your stands again*
*He who fights and run away*
*Will live to fight another day*

I’m usually amazed each time we reach the election cycles in any country. Because it’s usually the time politicians come up with slogans and promises of what they’ll do for us and then end up on not doing them. For example the talk of corruption. Five years ago it was going to be “dealt with” and five years later were still dealing with it. One wonders, are we really moving forward?

Don’t worry my reader. I’m not talking about politics. It’s a comparison I’m making. You see, life is like that sometimes. If you keep doing things the same way, don’t expect different results. Like going to the gym. If you lift weights the wrong way, no matter how much time you spend there, you’ll definitely not see results. Why? Wrong technique.

Same case to other areas of life. If you want to be financially free and still are spending money up hazardly, you’ll definitely never save a dime. Why? You don’t know how to manage your finances. I remember when I was in primary school and my teacher used to tell me no matter how long you study but your attitude towards the subject is bad, you’ll definitely never get good grades.

Which is something that has stuck with me till now. I never loved math but when I came to campus and changed my attitude, it has come to be one of my favorite subjects. Actually boosting my grades. My dear reader as I finish, I urge you to have a different outlook towards issues in life. Think about them differently and apply new techniques to solve them.

Like an addiction. You can never stop a behavior by doing things the same way. If you’re a drinking addict, look for the reasons why and change your patterns. If you’re used to drinking after work, why not use the same time to go to the gym? Or reading books? Adios till next time 🤗