LOST IN MYSELF (TRYING TO FIND ME)

Well. My dear reader. It’s been quite the year. I can say both positive and negative. First I never thought that I’d one day graduate and secondly, I never expected life to be as strenuous as it is. I guess nobody prepares you for what’s ahead.

My silence has been due to the fact that I’ve been trying to find myself amidst the chaos. The drama from home, life, love, and cents. Worse off life is moving at its own pace. Not the way I expected it to be. With all that, pouring my thoughts to you my reader became a huddle. But guess what, something inside of me irks to inspire you. To give out my beautifully crafted thoughts. I know you have missed me and here I am.

Although a lot has been overwhelming, I can say it has also taught me valuable gems that I think are worthy of sharing. Sometimes you might expect those that are closest to you to be the source of happiness yet they end up being the ones inflicting pain. What do you do? I have learned the hard way just like Konshens sings: “seek not the approval of a man or a woman, Mankind here today, tomorrow they are gone.” Or like Gloria Muliro: “If God was asking human beings how we ought to behave, then I’d not be the way I am and still I’d not be where I am”

There is also societal expectation. Se out expiry dates. Ages to get married, finish school, what jobs to do and where to call home. And if you are not careful enough you will feel frustrated if you don’t fit into this. You will be a wild goose chaser on things that are unattainable.

There is also shame and guilt. You feel bad for making mistakes. People leaving you. Having to start again. This is because we grew up knowing that failure is bad and if you got a D in math, then you don’t know how to count. Well, what if you didn’t understand the questions? or you were sick? Or you are good at something else not necessarily math?

Well, that is our society and what it has been teaching me. I hope the short nuggets will inspire you to see that despite what you are going through, everything will be okay. Like 2 Pac told us: “But please don’t cry, dry your eyes, never let up. Keep ya head up, ooh, child, things are gonna get easier Keep-keep ya head up, ooh, child, things’ll get brighter”

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