MAN CAVE

In the last 20 years, the number of mental health cases in the world have risen and 3/4 of those come from men. Shocked? Well you shouldn’t be. Men are the most affected and the least to speak about mental health. It’s actually a taboo to cry as a man. I wonder who came up with such rules? 🤷

And just recently the Ricky Rick story got me thinking. How many more gents must die before we realize that there’s a problem? How many? I think it’s high time we act. Not just seating on the sidelines as we watch men suffer. Let’s stand up and fight this thing.

First and foremost teachings given to men from childhood should change. If a boy is hurt at home he is told: “not to cry and carry the pain”. Thus when he grows up he will ultimately know that pain is a good thing. Room for vulnerability is shut as pain is seen as the “manly thing”. Secondly it’s the structure of our society. That men should always be the leaders and women to follow. Yes it’s a good thing to lead but if all the time you are on the drivers seat, when do you have time to be chauffered and enjoy the ride?

Then come to social wiring. Let’s take a bar scenario. And this is a research I’ve carried out and observed for the last 7 – 8 years. (As a good journalist 😉) Two tables. One with approximately 6 – 10 women and the other with the same number of men. The table of men the discussions will be about politics (like the current Ukraine – Russia tension), football, business, women and sex. Then the table with ladies will be deep talk. If one shares about how her business is running, the rest will be curious to know how they can help. And a lady won’t feel ashamed to share with her “girlfriends” if she has marital problems. By the time a lady leaves the bar she is feeling lighter as a load is taken off her back. And surprisingly the table with men will be the one that has more alcohol consumption.

That’s why it’s easier for a man to come home from a bar and beat his wife/ children while the wife will come home straight to bed or have a small chat. Because she has relieved the tension within her. How I wish we borrowed that leaf from our counterparts. The thing about opening up and allowing yourself to be vulnerable. It doesn’t reduce your manliness by saying I’m weak. Actually it strengthens you because you will be able to tackle the stumbling block. Like when we were kids. If you were weak at a certain subject, you took remedial classes to be able to sharpen your skills. The teacher gave you their ears and took a keen interest at you.

When the test came you scored better grades. And lastly to my fellow men, saying I’m weak doesn’t mean you’re no longer a man. It means your a better man because you have finally recognized what ails you. You will be a stronger man by the time you finish the therapy sessions. Don’t wait till it’s too late. And if you see your fellow man is down, pick him up and help him walk. For we rise by lifting others 🏋️‍♂️

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